Yesterday I got into a twitter debate with a guy about a tweet he wrote..
@cableslams: “Sex is not love, love is not about sex”
Ok, why do you get upset & fall out of love if he/she goes off to have sex with someone else?
I literally was like WTF!? My view was that he was basically saying it’s ok to cheat if you think love and sex are two different things.
Sex and love ARE an act and a feeling, technically two different things but also intertwined hugely. If you love somebody and are in a relationship with them, where you both have agreed to monogamy and commitment, then sex comes with that naturally (and in my experience sex while truly in love is a million times better than casual sex). Within this relationship if one party decides to have sex with someone else it’s a huge breach of trust and shows blatant disrespect for the others parties feelings and commitment.
Now the argument on twitter went on for awhile but we still didn’t see each other’s points. The original poster was trying to say that because sex is just sex and is essentially separate from love then why would it spoil a relationship by cheating to have sex.
My argument is that of course it ruins a relationship because firstly when you love someone and are in love with them you wouldn’t be able to hurt them and you shouldn’t be acting on any feelings for anyone else. If you have feelings or desires for other people then you shouldn’t really be in a committed relationship should you??
It really got my blood boiling because I despise cheaters and I despise people who pretend to be committed but actually couldn’t give a fuck about their boyfriend/girlfriend.
In the end we agreed to disagree because arguing in 140 characters is mighty difficult! But I brought it up with my boyfriend to see his point of view and he was the same as me, couldn’t comprehend how someone thinks sex with someone else shouldn’t ruin a relationship because “sex means nothing”! He said if I ever cheated it would be over because he wouldn’t trust me and everything I’ve promised him and told him would be a lie. This is exactly how I felt aswell, I guess I’m just glad we have the same values and morals when it comes to relationships!
No matter what anyone says the act of sex is a big deal, you can have sex casually and forget about it but you won’t ever forget because someone has penetrated your body and mind, even if you say it meant nothing. It meant something at the time, it meant your feelings for someone were that strong at that particular time that you let them be a part of you even if just for a few minutes. To me that’s a big deal… And certainly not something I could ever overlook if my partner decided to try out someone else other than me!!
What do you think?