Today is my mums birthday and I am so gutted I can’t be there to celebrate with her and give her a hug and kiss. This is the second year I haven’t been there and I’ve decided that next year no matter what I will be by her side on her birthday.
We take our parents for granted so much while growing up. It’s only when you are living your own life, and can’t depend on your mum to be there at every step, that you realise how grateful you are. I am so grateful my mum did so much for me and tried so hard to keep me on the right path. I was a troublesome teenager I can admit but because of how she raised me I soon snapped out of my rebellious phase and knew I was worth more. And I knew she deserved more from me.
These days I really miss our everyday relationship, it’s so hard to not have a little chat everyday when I’m in and out of the house. I live alone (well just technically, as my boyfriend is here more than he’s not here!) and I miss knowing she’s downstairs to chat to while I make dinner or sit down and watch some TV.
As I get older and think about settling down and having my own family it kills me to think she’s not going to be there to see every day or be involved so much in my children’s lives if I remain in London. I guess I won’t know what the future holds but either way it just takes effort on both sides to make sure she is with me as much as possible or that I am with her. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her and I hope she knows that. Good mums are actually not as common as you think and when I hear stories from other people about their mums or lack of mum, it makes me feel even more lucky.
I was raised to be a good, kind, honest girl. And that is 100% down to my my mum and her constant good parenting. I thank god everyday for her and I can only hope that I would be as good as mum as she is.
Happy Birthday Caroline xxxx