women

Men and women VS A change in plans

I’m convinced that men and women will never agree on how to react to a last minute change in plan.

Now I do understand that it depends a lot on the type of person you are in general and not just on gender! I’m not ashamed to admit, I am quite an impatient person, it’s part of who I am, and I also detest change. I am a creature of habit, I crave security and when I make a plan you can be damn sure I will try my best to stick to it.

Being in a committed relationship with someone I consider to be an amazing man – handsome, loving, honest, kind, caring, funny, attentive – I find it so hard to keep on top of these bad traits of mine. He’s so great sometimes I genuinely feel bad if I get annoyed about what seems like trivial stuff.

We have never had a blazing row, we had calm discussions about three or four times in our relationship to point out what things were annoying us but all easily solved and rarely repeated…. Except this changing plans at the last minute thing. It’s come up now a few times and I feel like I have explained to him why it annoys me but today it’s happened again.

From early on we were so serious and spend almost all our time together, he practically lives here.. But it’s been a joy and everyday he has to leave for work or whatever he’s straight away saying he misses me or can’t wait to see me. But it’s happened once or twice before that his friend will text or call while he’s out and will ask him to do something. Now, being the normal happy girlfriend I am I would never stop him from meeting friends or family or going football or whatever, but if he’s made plans to return home to me or have dinner or whatever we have been texting about all day, it annoys me if he says he wants to actually go see his friend now instead, at an hours notice.

So I guess in my head it all sounds reasonable, you can’t be texting me saying you can’t wait to get home and then say you’re not coming back for a few more hours after all because your friend invited you over. I didn’t call my friends or arrange to do anything because you were coming here after work!? So you decide to change your plans cos it suits you but I’m gonna be left at home having not made any other plans? Is this being selfish or am I just trying to be fair to both. I wouldn’t and have never done this to him.

It makes me feel second best that I’m so easily discarded. I fully take on board we didn’t have much planned and we do spend loads of time together. I would just rather, instead of being dropped like a hot rock when something else comes up, that he thinks about it and maybe reschedules with the friend for the next day or something when he knows he’s free and hasn’t made plans.

So while I’m here getting all worked up and feeling like rubbish, he genuinely doesn’t see any issue I don’t think.. Like in his mind he was just gonna spend a few hours with a friend and then come down later than planned. Not a big deal right…

So are men and women programmed differently, do women take things more personally, or is this my issue completely?? Surely I can’t be alone in hating when people mess up your plans together in favour of seeing someone else?

Help me, please men and women of wordpress, give me your view and your advice.

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Praying. I forget how.

“When the world pushes you to your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray.” – Rumi

When people are down on their luck or going through hard times or ill health, so many of them turn to their faith to help them through. I feel a bit faithless, which never bothered me in the slightest before, but now it’s something I am thinking about having been more exposed to other religions than me own.

I was raised a Catholic, though most of my religious education was through school as my parents weren’t excessively religious. I received all the sacraments (baptism, communion, confirmation) and once I finished school I never really went to church again, except for occasions like easter, Christmas, funerals, christenings, weddings etc. I’m sorry to say I haven’t even gone to a Christmas mass in over two years. I just didn’t have any belief. Religion to me was a subject at school, something to be learned off and then prayers and hymns recited on command. I never thought about it being real, it just seemed like an epic story.

Where I live in London is predominantly a Muslim community. There are the odd few like myself in rented flats around the area but the whole area is based around Asian families. The shops, the foods, the schools and mosques everywhere, my first time hearing the loudspeakers blaring out the prayers I got a serious fright! Also, my best friend over here is Asian and Muslim but although she isn’t strict about it every day she still does plenty of praying with family and goes to various things with them. Because of this I’ve been interested in the religion and culture and I’ve wanted to learn more about Islam and the teachings.

At the moment it’s Ramadan which is a 30 day fasting and praying session. In this time you may only eat between the hours of sunset and sunrise, which at the moment means people are fasting from 3.15am until 9.15pm approx. I can’t even imagine being able to do that for a weekend, let alone a month. To me it seems like these people must have the strongest beliefs in their religion, their god and their customs. It makes me feel good about Islam in a way, some of their teachings are very understandable and can provide moral code to live by.

Now, I’m not saying I want to convert to Islam but it’s been good to see other religions. It’s got me thinking is there a religion out there that I can really put my trust and faith in? Is there a god or gods I can turn to when I need that reassurance? I don’t know. But I do know I’m on a bit of a mission to find out more about worldwide religions.

Growing up I always thought Rastafarianism was the way to go, until I started to research it.. Now I think I’m too westernised and independent for those kind of beliefs. I’m not being owned by any man, I’m certainly not having dreads and I do love to wear deodorant… All manmade things and cosmetic items are not allowed. And to be honest early Rastafarians really disliked white people and believed in black supremacy so I can’t really identify! Probably the one good part is when you get your period no one can eat any food you have cooked so you either take it easy and the men do their own things..or you still cook and eat it all yourself. Win!

Maybe eventually I will stumble into something I can believe in, something more than just a nice story written years ago that we all must believe is gospel truth! ‘Til then, i’d rather be an atheist!